Hyped up holiday
By : Bikram Vohra
OK, so it is vacation time and you are enjoying going through the brochures all splashed with color and great deals but watch it, it is fraught with dangers. Half these scenarios will happen to you when you go on vacation.
The airline computer will be ‘down’ when you call for confirming the reservation 72 hours before take off like the air hostess told you and then when you reach the airport you’ll find the same computer that keeps going down suddenly went up and knocked your name off the flipping list so now you are stuck at the airport with two kids and a wife who knows whose fault it is.
One aunt at the flipping family gathering will take objection to the gift you bought her because she will recognize it for the giveaway it is and be so offended that you will have to snivel and grovel and try and make up for it and she will play hard to get.
One of the kids will fall ill the morning you have to go on the safari/jamboree/adventure/tour and the fever will rise to 102 degrees and doctors will be called and by the time the tour returns the kid will be back to normal and full of beans (which you will not) and there will be no refund on the price of the special tour.
The one day you have to visit a famous museum, site, shop, place of tourist interest it will be closed. Murphy’s law having a blast.
The credit card machine will reject your card in a foreign country where you don’t know the language, anyone and are short of cash and will have to put things you bought back on the shelf.
If you are shopping for the wife and children (you silly brave nit) you will spend money on wrong sizes, wrong colors, wrong designs and the wrong brand name and you will be told what addlepated twerp you are and how could you?
You will buy something that looks like a bargain that will later prove beyond any doubt that you are Mr. Gullible 2014 because it won’t work.
You will receive a disturbing phone call from your secretary or colleague to tell you that office politics is on a roll and the grapevine is indicating that you might be in a uh oh position. Incredibly, this always happens when you are on vacation and guarantees to take the fun out of the relaxation because now you have to worry about who is stabbing you in the back.
The neighbors or friends back home will call you to tell you that some funny goings on have been noticed at your residence and the houseboy/housemaid could be up to something and there seems to be a leak in the waterpipe or the front gate looks like it has been broken into … gee, thanks guys, just what we need when we are 5,000 miles away.